At least they aren't for my little boys. Last week I decided to take the boys to the public library. On the way there I explained the "library rules" to Everett-which is really just using an inside voice. In my head Everett would pick out a few books to check-out for the week and we would read quietly for a bit. That didn't happen. The boys were wild-Hampton crawling everywhere and Everett climbing on and under chairs and tables. Just wild. I couldn't help but notice the sweet little girl in the smocked dress and big hair bow reading with her grandma. Sure she was about 6 or 7 but still. I can truly say my children are for the most part well-behaved within reason, especially out in public, but
really. Was I expecting too much? I came across an article the past week that was so helpful and encouraging to me. The article was on how parents unknowingly can inhibit their child's play. One way in which I am an offender is by hovering, or helicopter parenting. This is something I am working on: giving more freedom with play, but with reasonable boundaries. Another point was inhibiting play by worrying too much about the mess. I again am an offender of this. Lately I have been trying to let the mess (such as playing with playdough, paint, dirt, sand, etc.) not bother me so much. Truly it has been rewarding. The boys have fun and it is all washable.
Tonight we worked on some landscaping/yard work in our front yard. I wanted to be a part of it and so I brought the boys outside to play. I wasn't sure what they would do exactly, but I put some sidewalk chalk out and had bubbles on standby. Well, the sidewalk chalk was barely touched and we didn't blow bubbles. The boys found plenty to do on their own. Hampton collected twigs and grass and Everett picked dandilions, played in some dirt, and just ran around. Sure they got dirty doing so, but it was a solid hour of fun for them where I was just the facilitator and the one making sure they weren't in danger. And again, a quick bath before bed and they were like new again. Dirt under the fingernails and all. Having children is a continual learning process for me. I realized recently that letting go of some of the stress, the "theories," and just letting them be young boys is so fulfilling and has made life easier.
1 comment:
Michelle, Thanks for your post! I love how we all continue to work through the same stages in life together!! I enjoyed reading about your library experience - and not because it was a challenge. I have been taking Jonah to the 0-3 story hour at our library for the past few months. It has been a learning experience for both of us. At first, it was so difficult to get him to just pull one book or video off the shelf at a time, to sit down like the other kids, or not to stand in front of the librarian reading the stories. But, we have used it as a time for training. We have talked about being respectful toward other kids and respecting the library's things. And, I have learned to let some things go - it's okay for him to run from the door to the children's section if there he watches where he is going and doesn't run into anyone. It's okay for him to stand up in the middle of a story and jump or dance for a minute. It's okay for him to ask the librarian a question (maybe even in the middle of a story) as long as it is respectful. I still put Silas in the umbrella stroller so I haven't had to deal with him moving around yet. Things may change.
Don't give up on the library! Jonah gets so excited about going each week. And, I have learned simply to expect him to obey me and respect others but also to just let him be a 2 1/2 year old boy.
I was talking with a sweet lady at church on Sunday. She is a librarian at a public library in another town. I was talking with her about how Jonah has his moments but is typically a very well-behaved child in public. She said that she sees parents who say "shhh" to their child at every word they say and "stifle their little personalities" when they are at the library. I was encouraged to hear her say that you just need to let kids be who they are (within reason, of course).
I, too, am struggling to give Jonah more freedom. For me it is more that I don't let him do certain things because it might be an inconvenience for me. It's not about me! I am amazed to overhear Jonah while he is immersed in play. His imagination is beautiful and a thing to be encouraged not stifled because it might cause me to take an extra few minutes away from the things on my agenda.
I miss talking about these things in person! Hope you are doing well!
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